How can I enjoy and appreciate this as a gift right now?
How can I enjoy and appreciate this as a gift right now?
The four areas of health on which I have been focusing – sleep, nutrition, movement and stress control – are the fundamentals, the bedrock, of my health. I focus on no, or very low, cost interventions that anyone can implement. I was going to list my top recommendations to optimize each of these when I realized they are all elements of one main thing – health! They aren’t separate and alone. Each of them feeds the success of the others, and its impossible to say that what you eat does not impact your sleep, or vice versa.
Having said that, here’s what is working for me right now:
Eating a ketogenic diet and fasting intermittently each day (limiting eating to the hours between 11 am or noon and 6 pm)
Moving for a minimum of one hour each day, including some HIIT and some balancing.
Keeping a gratitude journal daily.
Thinking happy thoughts 😉
And … getting 8 hours of sleep every night, enhanced by:
1. A very dark room. No lights but moonlight.
2. Cooling the room, the bed, and my body.
3. Getting away from blue light well before bed time and reducing EMFs as much as possible. Basically, the mobile device must be put in another room, in airplane mode, in the earlier evening.
4. Generating my own melatonin by walking outside in the mornings.
5. Reducing nasal stuffiness by reducing histamine-rich foods, particularly red wine, dark chocolate, and aged cheeses. (I know, could I have listed three foods I love more?)
6. Getting enough vitamin D (with K2) and enough magnesium.
7. Drinking sleepy time tea before bed.
8. Getting to bed by 10 pm so I have at least three hours of sleep before the witching hour of 1 am.
There is really not that much actual difference between my fearful vision of being old, impoverished bag lady living in the van down by the river, or being a thrill-seeking elder who is documenting adventures by Instagramming her #vanlife.
There is a pretty big delta however, between the mental states that take me toward one or the other. And that is the challenge with this thing we call retirement. Managing your money, your time, your productivity, and your relationships are nothing compared to managing your mindset.
My personal expectation is to pay my way, support myself, share my know-how, and bring enthusiasm to all that I do. My personal fears are also for the worst case, feeling un-needed and unable to contribute, and not able to remember how to get things done. Every day I have to actively choose the expectations, not the fears. Every day I have to recognize when I am actualizing the positive expectations, and reinforce them. As I focus more and more on the positive, I think it gets easier.
Yesterday, I rode on one of the marvelous bike paths nearby. Going out felt slightly downhill. I was with a friend and didn’t have the inclination to worry about the uphill climb on the return trip. And guess what? Coming back felt slightly downhill. Yeah, downhill. Both ways. That’s what happens when you stop worrying and just enjoy the moment.
I live in the country. In a really spectacular part of the country. The northern part of the lower Peninsula of Michigan. Land of glacial moraines and eons-old coral reefs that we call Petoskey stones when pieces wash up on shore. Stunning inland lakes and a few great lakes that are really unbelievable the first time a visitor sees them. We are a mile from the Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes National Seashore, and lots of bicycling trails established just for us to get out and enjoy all the flora and fauna found here.
The thing is, I don’t know too much about all this nature. But I have a friend who does.
My friend can name every bird song in this part of the world, and explain why that singing was so loud last month and has become subdued this month. She helped us track an otter through the snow last winter, all the way back to his home lake. She knows about the trees, and the bees, and the bears. I’ll never get lost in the woods with her because she carries a compass and a topographical map, and she knows how to use them.
I cannot recommend a friend like this highly enough!
In 2005 we visited Stockholm’s National Museum, where there were some fantastic Calder pieces interwoven with 18th century paintings. I wrote home that “Heather was reminded of the etiquette of museums.” Twice she was scolded by the guards for touching or trying to otherwise make the mobiles move.
Today, New York’s Whitney Museum announced an Alexander Calder exhibition where the guards will actually be tasked with moving the mobiles so museum-goers can see the pieces as the artist intended.
To bring them to life, several of the Whitney’s art handlers, who ordinarily work behind the scenes, have been cast into a new role as performers. At scheduled times during the run of the show, a handler will “activate” a sculpture in the gallery with the prod of a gloved finger or the poke of a wooden stick.
Mobiles must move!
This article from Knowledge@Wharton really resonated for me. Titled The Retirement Problem: What Will You Do With All That Time? it neatly summarizes some big questions.
Stewart Friedman at Wharton summarizes this way: “The questions people ask at earlier stages of life become more profound at these later stages. Am I living the life I want to live? What is most important to me? Who is most important to me? You see the end, and so you think about what you want to do with the time that you have remaining. There is the question of: now what?”
I have struggled with this question. And yes, I realize it’s a first world question. And a boomer-centric question. And one I should have seen coming.
Nonetheless, here I am. What should I do with this time? What’s my bucket list? In which activities should I be involved? Where do I want to make a contribution?
I think the answer isn’t at the end of those question marks. My retirement is not another career step. It is not something I will sink into, get addicted to, play at, or be distracted by. It is not a number of activities to keep busy.
The questions I should have been asking every year – about balancing my health, relationships, community, and career – have gained urgency over time. But these questions have also changed in fundamental ways since the time I stopped working.
What is the universe calling me to be? I’m listening.